More Than Seven Words about George Carlin

And much more about Didi Conn, his erstwhile colleague.

It all started when our friend Pat Lyons, eulogizer of record, posted the announcement of George Carlin's untimely death to our college radio Yahoo group. (Is there ever such a thing as a "timely" death? I wonder.)

In Pat's words, "George Carlin has died at age 71" are the seven words he wished you couldn't say on the radio. Pat correctly identified Carlin as the greatest stand-up of the last 50 years, bar none, and the wry wellspring to whom everybody from Jon Stewart to Jerry Seinfeld to Robin Williams to Whoopi Goldberg to Penn Jillette owes a deep debt.

That caused Donna Rubenstone to recall George Carlin's role as the narrator of and "Mr. Conductor" character on Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends in the early nineties, as the show was her daughter's favorite during that time of toddlerhood.

Which sparked the following reminiscence on my part.

My son Justin goes to camp and is friendly with Charlotte Maltby, one of Richard Maltby's daughters. (For the rest of the universe that is just slightly less theater-geeky than my family, Richard is a Tony Award-winning writer/director/lyricist and occasional collaborator with David Shire, ex-husband of actress Talia Shire, and current spouse, since 1982, of actress Didi Conn.)

A couple of summers ago, Justin was invited to Charlotte's bat mitzvah, the service portion of which was taking place at the Maltbys' synagogue on Saturday morning, with the party to follow much later that evening at a posh restaurant/club downtown. Being of the belief that the service IS the bat mitzvah, there was no way we'd consider having Justin eschew the synagogue in favor of simply attending the party that night, so it fell to me to drive him in.

The plan was for us to attend the service (with me sitting FAR AWAY from him and his friends, of course), enjoy the kiddush luncheon that would follow, and return home until he needed to be delivered to Meatpacking District that evening.

All went swimmingly. The service was lovely, Charlotte did a wonderful job leading prayers and reading her Torah and Haftorah portions, and it was very enjoyable seeing the friends and family get called up for honors. Among them were David Shire and Didi Conn, longtime bffs of the Maltby family.

So it wasn't surprising when I looked a couple of tables over at the kiddush to see Ms. Conn sitting with their young son. I looked over at MY son, and all I could think of was -- Stacy Jones, Manager of Shining Time Station. Because Thomas the Tank Engine was also Justin's favorite toddler TV fare, and I don't think he would have made it out of those years without it. (I know I wouldn't have!) I can't tell you how many 5 AM videos I popped in to keep him quiet and happy while I took my pillow and blanket to the den floor trying to catch just a few more minutes of sleep.

I KNEW I had to say something. Before I could think, before I could let my easily-mortified teenager talk me out of it, I walked over and said something along the lines of "My son and I wouldn't be here today without you." (Hyperbole much?) I quickly explained my lasting gratitude toward Thomas the Tank Engine and thanked her for being such a wonderful and cheerful presence as Stacy. I told her that as a mom, I just wanted her to know what an important role she played in the happiness and well being in my family.

And, well, I don't think I could have said anything better or more meaningful to her. A HUGE smile broke out on her face and she asked me to point out the charming creature who thought waking up while it was still dark out was perfectly acceptable behavior (and now, ironically, rarely sees anti-meridian hours at all).

We chatted amicably for a couple of minutes and I left her to her son and her lunch.

And I swear it was only on the car ride home that I remembered she was Frenchy in both Grease movies, starred in You Light Up My Life, and spent several seasons on Benson. Sheesh.

For me, she was and always will be Stacy Jones. And I was -- and always will be -- eternally grateful.

RIP George Carlin, Mr. Conductor and so brilliant and groundbreaking a comic mind.

Life's A Beach

Before I get to Emmy, the new kitten, who we adopted yesterday and I'll write about tomorrow, a word about the beach, which I've been thinking about for months and finally got to today.

Or, as I confessed to my husband in an only somewhat guilty text message, "I caved...I HAD to get there."

Yes, as you may have guessed, the beach is definitely one of my favorite places. Which is actually kind of odd, since I don't even ever go in the water. Well, unless it's a beach in Grand Cayman, say, or Aruba, or possibly Cozumel, although that can even be kind of iffy.

Today, and most days when I am at home, the beach is Crab Meadow, a relatively small strip of fairly rocky sand in the Town of Huntington on the North Shore of Long Island.

Hmmm...rocky sand, not a water lover, $4.25/gallon gas...I see you asking yourself, "Why go in the first place?"

Sigh. I wish I knew.

Sometimes I just know I HAVE to get there. The weather is perfect. The sky is blue. I've written too many emails, updated too many web pages and schlepped too many kids.

I need to sit down on my tropical chair in the warm sand, grab a sip of my iced coffee, turn on the tunes, open my book and do NOTHING.

I need to smell the sunscreen, the pizza they sell at the counter outside the yummy La Casa restaurant, and the seaweed when the tide is low.

I need to see the mommies with their toddlers just about the same age as Justin and Jordan were when we first started going way back in preschool.

I have to watch the summer campers play volleyball and unpack their lunches, their towels and their frisbees.

And I have to let the answering machine in the office pick up the phone calls. Allow the emails some time to age until I can log in again back at my desk. Put thoughts of dinner on the back burner.

It's hard to totally relax at home. There are chores that need doing and constant reminders of projects and obligations. Not so at the beach.

As a bonus, I am reminded how lucky I am that I can usually steal away for a couple of hours a couple of days a week. It is indeed a great place to be thankful and peaceful and all the things we strive to be but sometimes cannot quite manage. It is why, sometimes, I just have to go.

And then.

I am reminded that supper does have to be taken care of. That Jordan needs to be picked up from her Bio Regents review class. That sweet little Emmy hasn't eaten since this morning. And that I applied SPF 8 two and a half hours ago, and will begin to burn soon unless I put more on or take my leave.

I choose the latter. For as wonderful as this respite always is, what makes it so meaningful is the also incredible life from which I occasionally use it to escape.

Free Donuts, No Matter How You Spell Them

As I start writing, there are twenty-one minutes left to this Friday, June 6, otherwise known as National Donut Day. Or, if you prefer, National DOUGHNUT Day.

Apparently, according to Wikipedia, National Doughnut Day started seventy years ago, in 1938, as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army. Their goal was to help the needy during the Great Depression, and to honor the Salvation Army "Lassies" of World War I, who served doughnuts to soldiers on the front lines.

Today, it is seemingly commemorated by the distribution of free donuts (my preferred spelling), as I learned from an invitation email from the Krispy Kreme Corporation, which invited me in for my celebratory sample today.

Excellent!

Except for one small problem: due to a long run of financial mismanagement, SEC inquiries, and overexpansion, every single franchise or company owned store in proximity to my home closed up shop almost as quickly as they opened. And they opened here about as quickly as a beautiful glazed donut turns golden brown when it hits hot oil.

Now, let me say that I am not particularly a sweets girl. Really. If you told me I could never have dessert again, I'd be pretty much okay with that. Especially cookies, cakes, and yes, even donuts.

But there was something about those Original Glazed when they came HOT off the line. Oh. My. Goodness.

And here, Krispy Kreme was harkening back to the good old days of the red HOT NOW light, and practically BEGGING me to come in and get one for free. Who could resist?

So...I figured I'd find out where to get one.

No luck trying to use the zip code search on the website. Nothing came up.

No luck clicking on the colored states on the map. Nothing came up.

Finally, I had to resort to opening the PDF that lists all the stores by state, only to find that our nearest store is in the Amtrak Rotunda at Two Penn Plaza. Or, according to Google maps, 36.5 miles or about 50 minutes (but possibly up to an hour and a half in traffic!) from here. Then, there'd be the exorbitant parking fee, of course. Or the cost of a round trip train ticket. Not quite the best exchange for a free donut.

Even a fresh, hot, Krispy Kreme Original Glazed.

After that, we'd need to go all the way to Cheektowaga to grab one of those yummy babies right off the conveyor belt. Heck, at that point, it would probably be quicker to fly down to Florida, which seems to still have a fair representation of stores. But again, it kinda puts the whole "free donut" thing into perspective, doesn't it?! So, I let National Donut Day pass without a gustatory nod, and settled, instead, to commemorate it here.

It's a little sad.

And I'll bet the donuts at the Madison Bank Branch that replaced our Krispy Kreme aren't nearly as good.