Free Donuts, No Matter How You Spell Them

As I start writing, there are twenty-one minutes left to this Friday, June 6, otherwise known as National Donut Day. Or, if you prefer, National DOUGHNUT Day.

Apparently, according to Wikipedia, National Doughnut Day started seventy years ago, in 1938, as a fund raiser for the Chicago Salvation Army. Their goal was to help the needy during the Great Depression, and to honor the Salvation Army "Lassies" of World War I, who served doughnuts to soldiers on the front lines.

Today, it is seemingly commemorated by the distribution of free donuts (my preferred spelling), as I learned from an invitation email from the Krispy Kreme Corporation, which invited me in for my celebratory sample today.

Excellent!

Except for one small problem: due to a long run of financial mismanagement, SEC inquiries, and overexpansion, every single franchise or company owned store in proximity to my home closed up shop almost as quickly as they opened. And they opened here about as quickly as a beautiful glazed donut turns golden brown when it hits hot oil.

Now, let me say that I am not particularly a sweets girl. Really. If you told me I could never have dessert again, I'd be pretty much okay with that. Especially cookies, cakes, and yes, even donuts.

But there was something about those Original Glazed when they came HOT off the line. Oh. My. Goodness.

And here, Krispy Kreme was harkening back to the good old days of the red HOT NOW light, and practically BEGGING me to come in and get one for free. Who could resist?

So...I figured I'd find out where to get one.

No luck trying to use the zip code search on the website. Nothing came up.

No luck clicking on the colored states on the map. Nothing came up.

Finally, I had to resort to opening the PDF that lists all the stores by state, only to find that our nearest store is in the Amtrak Rotunda at Two Penn Plaza. Or, according to Google maps, 36.5 miles or about 50 minutes (but possibly up to an hour and a half in traffic!) from here. Then, there'd be the exorbitant parking fee, of course. Or the cost of a round trip train ticket. Not quite the best exchange for a free donut.

Even a fresh, hot, Krispy Kreme Original Glazed.

After that, we'd need to go all the way to Cheektowaga to grab one of those yummy babies right off the conveyor belt. Heck, at that point, it would probably be quicker to fly down to Florida, which seems to still have a fair representation of stores. But again, it kinda puts the whole "free donut" thing into perspective, doesn't it?! So, I let National Donut Day pass without a gustatory nod, and settled, instead, to commemorate it here.

It's a little sad.

And I'll bet the donuts at the Madison Bank Branch that replaced our Krispy Kreme aren't nearly as good.