Weighty Matters

You can add scales to the list of things I'm not very partial to. Bathroom ones, I mean, not the fish kind, although I guess they don't thrill me either -- especially when they wind up in my food. (Didja catch that episode of Top Chef where Ming Tsai wound up with a mouthful? Yuck!)

Anyway, for years, my "Ultimate Scale" by Tanita (nothing like a little humility for a simple, utilitarian household object, is there?) and I have more or less peacefully coexisted, in spite of the fact that I was more often than not on the receiving end of some less-than-complimentary communication.

We visited almost daily, and developed somewhat of a love-hate relationship. What can I tell you? It was complicated.

It became apparent over time that I had invested far more than it had, but still, I persisted, trying to court it and do everything I could to win it over. Well, almost. The fiber in the seeds on an everything bagel must mitigate the carb count somehow, I figured.

Gradually, it started to fail me. The buttons became a bit balky, preventing me from reminding it that I am a 5'1" tall woman, so it could accurately inform me of my body fat content (which, as a 5'1" tall woman would be higher than pretty much any other combination I could punch in). After a time, I had to get by without knowing how much of my too many pounds were comprised of too much fat, and settle on the one, raw, unadulterated number that simply signified my weight.

And then yesterday, I couldn't even get that much out of it. I pushed the little toe-kick and prepared my silent supplications. I waited for the display to zero out.

I waited some more.

Finally, after the 888 look like it was in no mood to go anywhere, I tried pushing the buttons on top.

"Error"

Hah! My weight is now officially an error message.

"Error"

How rude!

As if the relationship between us hasn't been rocky enough, now this.

Of course, there is some deeper meaning to be found here, but for now, I will have to move on and get a new scale. My weight will still be more of an error than anything else, but at least I'll know just how wrong it is...